7 Things Men Need To Stop Doing To The Women They Love

It’s International Women’s Day today and it’s a day that is usually spent celebrating womanhood—in all its forms. But, as women, we submit too much—to society, customs, circumstances and men. We do it too much. Yes, feminism is on the rise and so is a growing awareness that women are powerful and deserve respect. 

But, in the four walls of a house and in the confines of a relationship, we still let the men overpower us; and I don’t mean in bed. There are things that men do that leave us feeling less than what we are…inadequate. And you know what’s worse? We let them get away with it, leaving it at a typical, “Men are like that.” But they shouldn’t be. As women, we deserve a lot more from them. We deserve to stop having to apologise for wanting more. We deserve to be loved like in the books and we deserve to be cherished. But most of all, we deserve more than just your money and chivalry.

On the occasion of International Women’s Day, we bring you a list of things that men need to stop doing to the women in their lives. 

1. Stop Leading Us On 

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Just because you think it gives you the upper hand in the attraction game; or just because you think you get under her skin, you have no right to lead us on. If you like us, tell us and stop making us wonder about your intentions from time to time. If what you’re looking for is non-committal, make it clear to us because, in all honesty, it is not right that you toy with our heads to suit your own whims. 

2. Stop Trivializing Us

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… And everything that we say, or do. Most times, there is a reason why we’re doing a particular thing; even if it may not make sense to you. No, you don’t have to understand it; but that doesn’t mean you have to trivialize, or even criticize it for that matter. Remember when you started loving us, why you adore us? The fact that we are so hard to comprehend is what made us attractive to you. So why do you turn the tables on your own thought process now? Why the hypocrisy? 

3. Stop Ditching Us 

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You see us mad at you, stressed, overworked, crying, or all of these things while on our period and you want to run for the hills. How is that right? Do you see us running away when you snore at night, or fart and get drunk? Do you see us running when you lay on the couch like a vegetable playing video games or watching the replay of that match? No, right? If we can stick with you through your trivial pursuits, why can’t you stick with us through ours? 

4. Stop Escaping Facts 

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Yes, we have issues—lots of them. Yes, we may pick fights with you. But, it’s only because we care about you and what the two of us share. To you the fights may seem like a speck of dust. But, to us, there is a deep-seated connection to what happened three days ago and we’ve been trying to forget about it, hold it in the hopes that you will realize what you did. But, you never do. The day we stop fighting for you; the day we stop fighting at all is the day we will walk away from you. So, it’s not the part where we fight with you that should bother you; but, the part where we don’t fight anymore. 

5. Stop Being Oblivious 

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To the fact that we are bothered by your absolute feigned ignorance to anything we say or do. We know you saw us walk through the door with groceries; you could offer to help carry them to the counter. Just offer, that’s all. At least, try to remember things and dates that are important to us because we are important to you. We don’t need the intricate details; just the simple, small ones. Don’t behave like you’re the only one living in the house. Clean up after yourself; it doesn’t mean you need the entire housekeeping at your service; just small chores will do. 

6. Stop Seeking the Easy Way Out

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Just because a relationship is a lot of work, you’re ready to walk out of it and try to forget the issues with a fling, a one-night-stand or just getting drunk and passing out. We are still in the same place that you left us while you’re making up your mind to walk out because you don’t have time for this shit. This shit happens to be the relationship you asked us to sign up for. You asked us out; you proposed; you assured us that everything was going to be okay as long as we were together. Well, now, you’re not here and it’s not okay. If we could fall for every word that you said but never really meant, why can’t you believe in the words we don’t say but really do mean? 

7. Stop Trying To Make Us Cave

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If we don’t want to try something sexually, we have legit reasons. If we don’t want to have unprotected sex also, we have reasons and so should you. If we don’t want to hang out with your ex even though the two of you are really just good friends now, we have our reasons. If we don’t feel like going out tonight, we really do have our reasons. Stop basing everything on our moods. To be fair, you have your moments too. Do we keep whining about it? We understand when you don’t want to do something; hell, we give in to it. We know how great it feels to be able to have shared experiences. But we don’t force you to come to the parlour with us, do we?