18 Men Confess The Things They Envy About Women

1. multiple orgasms

“Multiple orgasms!”

2. internal sex organ

“Not having your sexual organ outside your body. I really envy the vagina, penises suck.”

3. no public erections

“Being able to be majorly aroused in public without a bulge in the pants making it obvious.”

4. wearing makeup

“Makeup. Currently watching my girlfriend do her little sister’s and her friends’ makeup for a dance and the transformation is wild.”

5. long hair

“It’d be cool if I could grow my hair long without having to justify it to people who ask the same stupid questions about it over and over.”

6. no ejaculation

“No ejaculation when orgasms occur. Fucking hackers.”

7. they’re allowed to coo over babies and puppies

“Women get to lose their minds when they see a cute baby or puppy. I have to stand there and just smile but inside I’m bouncing around like a toddler.”

8. chick drinks

“I’d like to be able to order a cran-apple-berry-razza-tini without having to use my whisky voice. Chick drinks are delicious.”

9. being allowed to show feelings

Being socially allowed to show feelings in public. Not having to constantly worry about being creepy when around female friends even if doing the same things that they do. Not being belittled for displaying emotions (even to close friends). Being able to work with young children without being instantly suspected of being a pedophile. Being able to wear a dress comfortably.”

10. so many clothing options

“Women get to have so many clothing options, I’m stick of only having pants or shorts as an option.”

11. $ex work

“I envy a woman’s ability to make a living selling used underwear and feces online. No one’s pining for my jizz crusted boxers. :\”

12. clitoris envy

“The clitoris seems fantastic. I want one.”

13. women and children first

“‘Women and children first.’ Hey, maybe I want to live, too.”

14. huge support network

“I am a guy. I have issues. I have nobody to talk to about these issues. It seems like the gals can have a better chance of talking to someone.”

15. not being considered expendable

“As a male I’m expendable. Females are, like it or not, regarded as the ‘weaker’ sex. They are to be protected while men are to do the protecting. If there’s a lifeboat with 5 seats on the board and I’m one of 6 people on the sinking boat, I get to go down with the ship. If there’s another world war, I’m expected to sign up for service. In hindsight, I don’t spend that much time on ships and there’s probably (hopefully) not going to be another world war. But this still sucks.”

16. being allowed to cry

“Being able to cry and have the upper hand in a situation.

17. no performance anxiety

“No pressure when having sex. You can just enjoy it where as I’m under so much pressure to please/last long enough.”

18. one word

“Titties.”