When is a Mom not working, may I ask?


I’ve said it before, and will repeat myself. the term “working mother” is utterly redundant.

The only person who might understand this, is someone who has kids or is extremely insightful.

I took great offence at a comment recently where a single, childless male person stated that “Parenting took a turn for the worst when moms started working!”

Say that to my face again and let me hold you down while my single mom friend punches you in your pie-hole!

It seems that Pinterest and Facebook has people believing that mothers spend hours knitting, crocheting, coming up with DIY projects as they blog and explore the great outdoors with their offspring.

Correction: they would LIKE to.

Of the 24 hours in a day, a young child takes up 25 of those. 2 children take up 50 hours a day, and on and on the list goes.

There is a reason why mothers in the 50s took valium.

Sophia Loren said that a mother always thinks twice, once for herself, and once for her child. There is no simpler way to put it.

Regardless of what a mom is doing, she is always thinking about her kids and her mind is racing with thoughts and worries.
(Side note: this is regardless of the age of the child.)

Although “Stay at Home Mom” sounds relaxing, it is far from the truth.

There are days when you yearn to talk to another adult, and might keep the postman or the neighbor in a frantic grip, hoping they will share something other with you than information on what their body fluids look like.

Our SAHM has a fulltime job, 24/7, and considers the couple of seconds she has to use the toilet her “break”. It’s like if you lived where you worked, did not get paid, probably didn’t even get a thank you and your clients smeared their snot on your blouse and crawled into your bed at night.
Some are lucky and have caring husbands, some may have a husband who doesn’t understand his wife’s frustration at him going out for some beers after he spent 2 hours on the couch watching TV while she cooked a meal and washed a few loads of laundry.
Unlike a working single person, her day does not end–EVER!
Then we have our “working moms”. Frowned on by society for sacrificing their children’s welfare to have a career. More likely than not, they are usually just trying to cover bills and make rent.
Lucky are the few that manage a career. These moms have the full-time job at home and then a second full-time job at work. They eye their cell phone during a meeting to try to remember when their child’s dentist appointment was, or make their shopping lists in their lunch breaks. If asked, they will sacrifice their job before they sacrifice their kids, but it’s a tight balance. If they lose their job by not being available to a company, they might not be able to afford their children’s healthcare. It’s a tightrope walk that ends when the children have their own income.They have their husbands to rely on, but a mother is a mother and thinks about her children, regardless of what she is doing.  

Some of these working moms are single. That means at the end of the day, they don’t have a supportive husband to give them a squeeze and offer to run to the store while they start dinner. (Such as my husband does) They don’t have a back-up. If they lose their job, they lose their apartment or house. Period.

They are mommy, daddy, bank, caretaker, cook, chauffeur, self-therapist and entrepreneur all in one. They don’t have someone to share their day with, someone whom they can ask if they should send Lily to summer camp or not. The reason as to why they are alone is irrelevant.
Single dads have the same issue. Of course, nobody would classify them as a “working dad” since the assumption is that all dads work. However we still seem to be a society that believes when a mother goes to work she neglects her children, but when a father goes to work it’s considered standard?

In a world where women are expected to pay for themselves on a date, where men don’t even know that holding a door for a woman is polite, we are still sexist enough to use a term such as “working mom” but not “working dad”?Mothers are neither angels nor martyrs. Some moms aren’t good moms. But the majority of mothers that I know, are busting their butts in an effort to raise their kids in the best way possible.
They juggle work, home life, self-care and children in a way that one cannot imagine possible.
That’s just everyday life to them.
They would rather walk around in old jeans and busted sneakers and spend the money on their kids leisure, than to go on a shopping spree. There are single moms with no support whatsoever from their children’s dad, whether moral or financial, who take on an extra weekend job to pay for their children’s hobbies and sports.
And you have the nerve to say that “Parenting took a turn for the worse when moms decided to work?”